Waste of time on earth.

Phone recently spoiled, got a new phone from dad. Apparently im not allowed to get any new fuckin phone so i settled with some fucked-up retro nokia phone from our grandpa's age. Whatever. Ytd, lost file. Went back to search for it, lost my iPod. whatthefuck. Came home,went to get my sandals from Parent's house, apparently my Dad cant fuckin tell the diff between SANDALS and SLIPPERS. chao chee bye, went to get Havanas from eugene, cant use them in the end. Got criticised by drum teacher for having the side-reading skills of a grade 1 student. Knn, life is a fuckin bummer.

Its only inevitable for a person like me blessed with such a fucked-up lot in my life to constantly reflect on this eff-ed up life i have here. Is it just me? My inability to feel satisfied with whatever comes my way? Whatever, i dont care, just gonna live life as it comes. Its so fucked-up anyway, why not just approach it with a smile? After all, a smile and a fuckin frown would make no bloody difference, at least a smile can brighten the day of my mates, my day is alr fucked-up enough, no point screwing their day up as well. Whats wrong with me?!?! I think i suffer from multi-personality disorder, i so abhor people discussing the issue of me not being a virgin yet i so enjoy the moment when they actually discuss it. Fuck this shit, whats wrong with me?!?!?! I think i suffer from mood swings as well, im so extroverted at times yet so introverted at times; i cant seem to control it. My friends are beginning to notice it as well. I need to stop this soon, fuck this shit. BUT HOW?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????? Somehow, i have a hunch that my life is gonna end in my own hands someday soon. Im not a suicidal, AM I?!?! Who cares? Doesnt make no diff whether i kill myself or whatever, we are all headed towards death from the moment we were born, are we not? Im just doing myself a favor by releasing myself from all this pain, its an early release. whatever. Im tired, lets end this post on a happy note -- WE ARE ALL GONNA DIE ONE DAY!!!

Let me say it here once and for fucking all. I DONT/SELDOM STAY WITH MY PARENTS. but that doesnt mean they dont pay for my life. stop making fucking assumptions. ASSUMPTIONS ARE FOR LOSERS, PRESUMPTIONS ARE FOR QUITTERS.

and everything and every one of the fucking reasons you came into my life with. Grow up and make a fucking decision GIRL. fuck you and everything you stood for, stop wasting my time.

fuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyou
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I have never seemed to enjoy the decent, innocent love i crave so much for... When i have so many but not one that turned out as happily as i wanted it to be.. Life is so unfair.

Everything seems to be coming at once for me too... Im so sorry liting. Again, with problems ranting about it over here at this shit-hole of a fucking blog. If ive pressured you too much, How ironic, my life seems to be a frame of mirror reflection of your life, and yet we cant seem to connect at a deeper level. We shouldnt even have started this in the 1st place. You and i both know.. Lets skip the apologies. This was a showthat never came out on broadway. And probably never will, until time permits and feelings open.. Goodbye.

sweet childhood innocence

Primary school. Childhood. Seems to be a distant call so far far away, Yet so near, memories remain forever locked in the darkest entrenches of our minds and forever etched on our hearts of the good times and the bad times. How i wish i could just go back and relive everything once again, the coming of age isnt as edenic as i thought it to be, isnt it a wonder? Ignorance is total bliss, i understand now, not having a slightest worry in the world.